San Diego Padres: NL West Champions!!!



I love how they're all drenched in champagne, and then there's one dude in the back holding up a coca cola cup. Whoooo!!!

So now that the regular season is just about over, I think we can go ahead and look at Mike's Overly Optimistic Predictions that I made way back at the beginning of the season:

Mark Loretta: .342 ba Actual: .282
Brian Giles: 41 hrs 15 hrs
Phil Nevin: 38 hrs 9 hrs (was traded halfway through)
Ryan Klesko: 35 hrs 18 hrs
Jake Peavy: 18 wins, 2.55 ERA 13 wins, 2.88 ERA
Woody Williams: 15 wins, 3.25 ERA 8 wins, 5.01 ERA
Trevor Hoffman: 42 saves, 2.20 ERA 42 saves, 3.02 ERA
Padres: 94 wins, the West, the National League, and the whole f'in world ~80 wins and the West, still have to wait on the National League and the whole f'in world
So overall, my predictions proved to be overly optimistic, with the exception of Trevor's 42 saves, predicted with amazing insight and precision. Of course all that really matters is the whole winning the West part, so we cant really complain can we. Go Padres!!!

Mike looking through the CD stand on Library Walk:
Mike: Hmm, a Mandy Moore CD. I like Mandy Moore. But I think I'll just leave it here instead of picking it up.
*really cute girl walks by*
Really Cute Girl: Do you have any Mandy Moore?
Guy selling stuff: Here's one right here!!
Mike: Gaahhhh!!!

Here's the most awesome picture ever: LT plays quarterback!!

Randy is funny, even over email.
Kim: ". . . so that we can make copies without bugging you ('gettin into yo shinizzle' as the kids might say)
Randy: "So did shinizzle replace shizzle? I am confizzle!"

Padres!! 1 more win and we're in.

Chargers win! I called this game as their breakout one, and they did that and more, scoring 45 big ones. And LT is the greatest ever. Next weeks game is gonna be tough though, so ill call it as a close one.
Chargers: 27
Patriots: 24

I can't believe I'm being paid to attend Randy's lectures:
"In past years I've always had to ask the class for water. This year I thought I'd bring my own bottle of water and not have to beg and plead from my own students. This way I can look a lot more professional" *attempts to drink water and spills it all over his shirt*

Classes seem pretty cool so far. 2 psych classes + 1 lit class + randy's class = my easiest quarter ever. Whooooo!!!

Rejected Ideas for my First TA Section Welcome:
"Hi. You guys are taking metabolic biochemistry, which is 95% memorization. In other words, you losers need to do all the work and I just grade it. See ya."
"Metabolic biochemistry is kinda boring, but Prof. Hampton is pretty funny. So you should just come to his lectures to be entertained and forget about studying."
"When I took this class I lived and died on my TA's handouts, and I think it would be good for you guys to do that too. More specifically, to die since I didn't make any handouts."
"I considered talking about gluconeogenesis today, but thought it would be more fun to play some texas hold em."
"I got an A in this class mostly by messing up my fellow classmates and explaining the stuff wrong so as to lower the curve, and I'll do everything in my power to repeat that same success with you guys."
"I'm going to start today by writing up on the board the times and rooms of all the other TA sections."
"I didn't expect so many of you guys to come since I'm a pretty crappy TA."
"Raise your hand if you want an A in this class. Now keep your hands raised if you have at least $50 on you."
"There are two ways to be successful in this class. The first is to memorize every single molecule, enzyme, and reaction in the book, as well as all the stuctures. The second way . . . well, I guess there's actually just one way."
"You should sit in the front row and fall asleep in class, because then Prof Hampton will start doing a funny dance to keep everyone awake (true story)."
"When I took this class, I got an A because I was currently working in Prof. Hampton's lab and he was afraid I would destroy his yeast mutants if I got a bad grade. So you should all get jobs in his lab and threaten to sabotage his experiments."

So this time I predicted the other team's score exactly right, and its the offense that doesn't get the job done. Go figure. Obviously my nearly accurate predictions are jinxing the chargers, so if they lose next week I'm going to stop predicting for the rest of the season (or at least until I feel like it again). I'm calling the next game as their breakout one, cuz if it isnt then we're screwed.
Chargers: 38
Giants: 10

In happier news, Go Padres!!!
First place, playoffs almost here.

So I'm watching this movie about this 16 year old girl who wants to go to this summer academy in LA, but her dad is like "She's too young!!" so she has to sneak away. My mom later came in to watch a little, and asks how old the character is supposed to be. My sister says 16, and my mom goes "She's too young!!".

All I'm going to say about the Chargers game is that I predicted their score exactly right. Next time, the defense needs to do their job and make my prediction for the other team right.

That game was almost as depressing as the end of the latest Harry Potter.

Next Week's Prediction:
Chargers: 21
Guys I Hate: 20

Mike's Completely Unfounded Prediction:
Patriots: 31
Those Doof Heads: 21

Actual Score:
Patriots: 30
Haha Losers: 20

Wow, Mike's a football genius. If it weren't for a missed extra point, he'd be psychic!

Padres = 1st Place
Other Monkey Butts in NL West = Losers

So last friday the wonderful people down at CPKelco decided to have a Western Style BBQ using the grill that no one ever uses. We were supposed to dress up as cowboys, but most people settled with company provided bandanas along with their lab coats. Good food and even some music, although a little weird when that one dude started getting into pirates and the flying spaghetti monster (hey, so that's what raymond and kimberly were talking about).

Boss: So I'll be in a meeting with those guys from the Japanese company again tomorrow. They'll be doing a presentation on their genetically engineered strains. I was wondering if you'd . . .
Mike's Head: Come along? I'd love to! Anything is better than sitting here with these spineless, yellow, god forsaken, can't handle a simple gene deletion when its good for them sphingomonas!!
Boss: . . . set up a PCR and gel electrophoresis for those 6 strains in the morning tomorrow. I think the gene deletion is almost working!

Wow, what an awesome match between Agassi and Blake last night. Anyone see it? Anyone? Nobody watches tennis? Drat.

So that wonderful time is almost upon us, and soon we'll be rooting for our boys to win the superbowl!! This year, I thought it might be fun for more overly optimistic predictions by yours truly each week. Of course, being the biased, subjective fan that I am, I'll announce now that I will pick the Chargers to win every game for the rest of the season. No fun you say? Well, the excitement comes as we watch Mike try and predict the score of each game!!!
Chargers: 24
Cowboys: 17

And just for a little warming up, here's a non chargers prediction for tonight's first game:
Patriots: 31
Those Bastards: 21
(Mike uses no logic, reason, or professional advice in making his predictions, and does not encourage large bets based on said predictions as they are mostly pulled out of his dog's dish bowl ???)